Top 5: John Carpenter Films

Welcome to my new column, Top 5. It's fairly straight forward. Every week I choose a topic and give you my top five in the given topic. I'll give a short explanation for the pick and why I love or loathe it. The numbering is kind of arbitrary as I don't really think in those terms. I don't think most people do. Hard pressed, I don't think most people would be able to list a favorite anything. With it being October, I thought it only fitting that I give my top 5 John Carpenter films.

John Carpenter is a film maker that is dear to my heart, and as I've grown, my appreciation for his films has as well. While I'm not certain about the early years of my life and what came first, I can say the first Carpenter film I remember watching and falling in love with was Big Trouble in Little China. That's a hell of an introduction to a film maker. I feel like that may have been the first time where I paid attention to a film makers name and actively sought them out. Carpenter is a genre practitioner of the highest order, and I would be hard pressed to name another director that comes close to matching him. Whether he's working in scfi, horror, crime, or fantasy, his films are an extension of himself. His output from the 70's through the mid 90's is just incredible, and even his less successful ventures are at the very least fun to watch. I also can't think of anyone who has had so much impact on culture. He's had impact on movies, video games, music, TV, the man is a living legend! So as not to be labeled a fanboy, I'll be honest, he kind of lost his way.  Maybe that's not exactly accurate. I don't know what happened with Vampires or Ghosts of Mars. Maybe those aren't his fault, but regardless, outside of some interesting ideas, those two are pretty much garbage and more than hard to watch.  With only five spots I had to make some hard choices, so please know that They Live, Assault on Precinct 13, and others are waiting just below and pretty much tie for 5th place.

5. Prince of Darkness (1987)

I only recently saw this entry from Carpenter, so I think that's saying a lot about how much this movie impacted me. To say this movie is insane is putting it mildly. This movie eats crazy and then shoots insanity into it's eyes. The set up for this movie is that a priest invites a professor and a group of his students to the basement of a church, where he shows them Satan is a green liquid that's been trapped for millions of years. And then it gets weird.

Featuring a cast of Carpenter regulars, and soon to be regulars (oh and Alice Cooper), it's a truly bizarre and heady movie. It's what I would expect of a horror movie if David Lynch decided to make a horror movie.  It's also just a great experience that leaves me with a sense of dread and wondering what I just watched. Any movie that leaves me scratching my head in that manner, is an automatic winner.

4. Escape from New York (1981)
There are anti-heroes, and then there's Snake Plissken. Set in the far future of 1997, New York is a prison city, and the president has crashed into it. The government only has one option, take a captured mercenary, put a bomb in his neck, and force him to rescue the president. Steeped with a lot of political messages (like the best of Carpenters work), a heaping does of baddassery, one of the best casts ever assembled (Harry Dean Stanton, Adrienne Barbeau, Donald Pleasence, Issac Hayes, Ernest Borgnine, Lee Van Cleef, and oh yeah, Kurt Fucking Russell as Snake), and you the viewer are in for 99 minutes of straight up awesome.



I would like to point out that, while Escape from LA is almost beat for beat the exact same movie, it almost edges out New York, because the end of LA is so insanely cool. However, major points are deducted because of the very regrettable surfing scene. This movie will always hold a special place in my heart, and it set an incredibly high bar from which I judge all action movies. There are very few action movies that come close to meeting that bar, let alone clear it. It also answered a very real quandary, is there anything sexier than Kurt Russell as Snake Plissken? No. No there is not. Hollywood keeps threatening to remake this (at one point Gerard Butler and Jason Statham were attached to star as Snake, I literally just threw up in my mouth at the thought of either of those two taking up that mantle), and I really hope that never happens. Is nothing sacred anymore?

3. Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
I can't imagine the pitch for this movie. A story set in San Francisco, about a hapless idiot accidentally drawn into the middle of a battle with an evil ancient Chinese sorcerer. Oh and the main character, played to perfection by Kurt Russell is not the hero, but instead the comedic relief sidekick, and the hero of the story is a Chinese American actor?  I can't imagine Hollywood today (cough*Ghost in the Shell*cough*Dragon Ball: Evolution*cough) would green light that movie, let only Reagan-era Hollywood.  Yet here we are, 30 years later and I'm still shocked this movie actually got made.

 

It's funny. It's exciting. It does so much more with an action film than most films hope to attempt. Dennis Dun as Wang Chi is just great to watch. He's funny, charming, and kicks a lot of ass as the actual hero of the movie. He's also very drool inducing. What can be said about Kurt Russell as Jack Burton that hasn't been said. He's hilariously befuddled at every turn in the movie. It also shows how great his portrayal of Jack Burton is, that the character's oafish bravado endears the character to the viewer. In lesser Statham-like hands it would have just been repulsive. This movie helped shape a lot of my tastes in film. It helped cultivate a love of martial arts movies and a love for the oddities of film. The movies that aren't afraid to be a little out there and try something new. Like a lot of Carpenter movies, they keep threatening to remake this one as well. Lately the Rock is attached as Jack Burton, which I'm pretty meh about. They can do what they like I guess, because I'll always have Dennis Dun and Kurt Russell to cheer me up.

2. Halloween (1978)
Confession time. The first time I saw Halloween I was less than impressed. At the age of 11 or 12, I was already a seasoned vet of horror, and the slasher genre. While my friends were watching the Brave Little Toaster  and An American Tail,  I was watching films like The Hitcher and Nightmare on Elm St 3: The Dream Warriors (thanks older siblings, my psychiatrist's bill is in the mail). So by the time I finally saw Halloween, I didn't understand the significance of it. I didn't understand that every slasher movie I saw, was essentially a rehash of what Carpenter did a decade before everyone else. I was dumb little kid, a month before seemed like ancient history to me. I couldn't possibly fathom a decade. It's a pretty simple tale; teen girl and friends are stalked by something sinister, a lot of dumb teenagers are killed, one final girl is nearly unkillable and stops the big bad. The end. This trailer is shockingly spoiler filled, so if you haven't seen this movie from nearly 40 years ago, SPOILERS



Imagine my surprise when I revisited Halloween around 15 or 16, and found myself utterly terrified by it. Maybe it was the fact that I had become a dumb teen, that could happen to ME! Maybe it was my new fascination with the Greatest Scream Queen to ever grace the silver screen, one Jamie Lee Curtis (not to mention the one and only PJ Soles). Maybe it was John Carpenter's incredible effective score. I don't know why, but I do know I was never the same after that 2AM viewing. To this day (depending on my mood), it is my favorite horror film. It Follows is probably the one movie that has come close to dethroning it.  It's sheer trashy cinema brilliance that has launched a 1000 imitators and a mediocre remake. There is new remake/sequel filming now, that I have surprisingly high expectations for. Mostly because Jason Statham has not been linked to it. You have to celebrate the tiny victories.

1. The Thing (1982)
Here we are at number one. Really, almost any of these movies could have taken the top spot. This is just what I'm feeling today. It's one of two remakes that John Carpenter ever did in his career, and it's by far the superior of the two. The set up is simple, isolated science team is trapped with a menace that can take any form, and wipes them out one by one.





It's equal parts scfi, horror, and action thriller that plays out in a nightmarish 109 minutes. Kurt Russell is a reluctant hero that isn't really up to the task of saving anyone, and mostly just wants to survive. It's got a great cold war era subtext running through out the movie, and keeps making you question who you can trust and asks what are the consequences of that trust. Keith David is absolutely great in this as Kurt Russell's foil.  Again Carpenter knocks this one out of the park. The special effects create some of the most disturbing and effective scenes in horror history. The blood testing scene alone is just fantastic. Even having seen this movie a dozen or more times, the scene still has me on the edge of my seat.  In one of the most futile and completely unnecessary exercises ever carried out, a prequel was made in 2011. In a face palmingly stupid move, they also called it The Thing. That's not confusing at all. It's basically a remake of this far superior movie, and makes me feel bad for Mary Elizabeth Winstead. It also has Australian Kurt Russell and Tormund Giantsbane as one of the most comically surprised characters ever filmed. The one positive thing you can say about the prequel, is that Jason Statham is not in it.